Shaolin Poetry

[Mega-Foot]

A Tibetan monk takes a wizz in a stream,
And verily he beholds a most bizarre dream,
And dream it be not, though he cannot tell,
For an ape and a crane are going at it pell-mell.
Wherefore came the crane to fight with the ape?
Well, the ape had gotten randy, and swore that it'd rape
The very next thing that he saw that noon,
And so tried to get a piece of the feathery poon.
The poon looked so good, but his eye was to fault,
And wouldn't you know it? That eye get pecked out.
So he fled to the forest, and gave up his quest
To plant his ape eggs in that fowl's sweet nest.
Meanwhile the dazed monk, who was standing mid-stream,
Swore he'd never had such a bizarre daydream;
Yet he too caught a glimpse of the feathery poon
And created a style that would get him a piece, too;
For he used the crane first and the ape's movements last,
Knowing if he couldn't get crane poon, he could get some ape ass.

[NJM]

Mist rises over the temple wall
Upon the shaven heads it falls
And tourists lined up past the gate
Trade money for certif-i-cates.

[TenTigers]

I'm still waiting to hear the rest of,
"There once was a Monk from Nantucket..."

[cjurakpt]

Mist rises over the temple wall
Upon the shaven heads it falls
And tourists lined up past the gate
Trade money for certif-i-cates.

Bearing gifts, Matteras came,
DeMasco and students much the same.
The Kempo art, the tablets show,
Began here 10,000 years ago.

[NJM]

Bearing gifts, Matteras came,
DeMasco and students much the same.
The Kempo art, the tablets show,
Began 10,000 years ago.

Secret Katas of Shaolin
You find them in the bargin bin.

[SaintSage]

I'm still waiting to hear the rest of,
"There once was a Monk from Nantucket..."

There once was a Monk from Nantucket,
Who threw Hot coals in a bucket.
He went to begin
But to his chagrin
He got scared and finally yelled "**** It!"

[MonkeyKingUSA]

Monkey see, Monkey do,
We kick, we bite, we fling our poo.
So if you cross your hands with me,
Beware the wrath of Monkey pee

Richard A. Tolson

[cjurakpt]

Secret Katas of Shaolin
You find them in the bargin bin.

And practice them for all to see
While wearing a Karate gi.

[cjurakpt]

I'm still waiting to hear the rest of,
"There once was a Monk from Nantucket..."

There once was a Monk from Nantucket,
Whose spear was so light he could chuck it.
Where it went, none would know
Except Blind Master Po.
You'd have thought the old codger would duck it.

[jethro]

Megafoot may be the only person on this site weirder than Hieronim.

[cjurakpt]

Megafoot may be the only person on this site weirder than Hieronim.

forgotten Happeh so soon, have you?

[brothernumber9]

This "Mega-Foot" is a Mega-Fraud. He is not the real Mega Foot.

You know nothing of the tiger spiritual or 'what the F' n bald chicks' and fit babes. Shenanigans I say!!

[PlumDragon]

Hard fingery veins.
Digging deeper in the dirt.
Good root is acheived.

[John Takeshi]

Root can't be achieved in the sand;
Nor permanence by prints of hands;
The Tide washes them all away;
OJ got acquitted in that same way.

Birds of a feather can fly,
But never can a feathered guy;
He'll fall to his peril instead,
Like Greg Luganis, and hit his head.

Shaolin is the tiger of mind,
And the spiritual of the onion rind;
It'll bring tears to your cheek,
But it doesn't mean you're a pussy, or weak.

Practice Shaolin and I vow
You'll kill, if you're not killing right now,
And you will know maximum pleasure,
And drive a sleek Mercedes lined with leather.

Shaolin can make you rich,
Especially if you have a good sales' pitch.
Shaolin can make you poor,
And ravish you like a cankered *****.

Be careful my witless mates;
Far better it were to masturbate
Than be tossed up like a salad,
And repeatedly so, like an 80's ballad.

Shaolin can both love and hate;
Shaolin can both nurture and execrate.
My Shaolin has an untarnished name;
And your Shaolin is kind of lame.

[John Takeshi]

My hands are a weapon of death,
Just like Lokhopkuen's bootay-breath.