Utilising the Dim Mak in Real Life!

[dimmakseminar]

Greetings to All Esteemed Readers of Kungfu Magazine:

First, let me introduce myself. I am Dim Mak Seminar, and I hold an 7th degree Black Belt in the Dim Mak. Well, to be more specific, I specialize in the Dim Mak, although I am well rounded in many of the dark arts of Shao-lin and Iga, and I was once the true lineage holder of the Cinnabar Palm, the One Finger Tsan, and the Fairy Palm through Zhang San Feng! I am even developing a website with my kungfu family tree! I also have 7 white stripes on my black belt to prove my qualifications. So, you can definitely see that my qualifications speak for themselves!

I am interested to learn the opinions of the readers of this forum on their experiences using the Dim Mak in street fighting, as it is clearly the most superior and lethal of all techniques! I have been in many a fisticuff in my day and have always resisted utilising the Dim Mak for fear that the lethal legal nature of my hands (they are registered with the local police department, and in 13 countries around the whole world) might allow an attacker to use the legal system against me. Confinement in a penitentiary is not fun, I don't think. So, in most cases, I utilise the Cinnabar Palm, which I find to be more easily controlled, because you are striking your foe from a distance of over 11 feet! For those of you not familiar with the Cinnabar Plam, you learn it through many ancient and secret methods. My kungfu brother, Brian Gray, can attest to the secretness of the training methods! Also, your hands get really red.

So, in conclusion, I would ask that you consider my seminars for use in learning real live street fighting situations. Wouldn't you want to utilise these arts to defeat your foe? Of course you would, because no one really likes the germs that can be transmitted through contact! At a price of $20 per hour, my seminars are much more effective than attending a cardio kickboxing class at your local McDojo. Remember, you get specialisation AND name recognition. Plus you can learn to do neat stuff like throwing needles through people's arms at 30 feet!

Thank you for your time and consideration in reading my post.

Sedulously awaiting your replies, I remain,

Respectfully yours,

dimmakseminar

[Kristoffer]

[Jook Lum]

What are you smoking?????????

[shaolin kungfu]

cinnabar palm? Tis wouldnt have anything to do with cinnabun would it?

[dimmakseminar]

Dear Mr. shaolin kungfu:

As a practitioner of shaolin kungfu, you should already be aware of the Cinnabar Palm! It is not related to the cinnabun, although that made me laugh. The Cinnabar Palm, is a technique whereby the practitioner trains the Qi to exit the palms. It can traverse short distances or great distances to complete its work. An extension of the Qi, past the earthly shell, is possible with the Cinnabar Palm! You are probably most aware of this technique in the movie "Karate Kid", whereby Mr. Miyagi rubs his hands together to heal young Daniel-san! That is real power! If you have interest, I have put much thought to creating a video seminar, although many in the martial arts community have expressed disdain at my efforts to reveal the true dark secret techniques of Shao-lin (and Wu-dang)!

It has been my pleasure to alleviate any erroneous misconceptions about my seminars and, I remain

Respectfully yours in mind and spirit,

dimmakseminar

[Former castleva]

"Plus you can learn to do neat stuff like throwing needles through people's arms at 30 feet!"

Serious?

" An extension of the Qi, past the earthly shell, is possible with the Cinnabar Palm! You are probably most aware of this technique in the movie "Karate Kid", whereby Mr. Miyagi rubs his hands together to heal young Daniel-san! That is real power! "

Do you believe that it´s possible?

"Dim Mak for fear that the lethal legal nature of my hands (they are registered with the local police department, and in 13 countries around the whole world) "

Really?

"because you are striking your foe from a distance of over 11 feet! "

You believe in that,seriously?

[Kristoffer]

Castleva don't bother argumenting with this clown. He's looking for some idiots (read: americans) to get him some money on hokey crap.

My kungfu brother, Brian Gray, can attest to the secretness of the training methods! Also, your hands get really red.

Seems like you should stop shoving up your hands in Brian Grays ass then you little ***got

[dimmakseminar]

Dear Mr. Kristoffer:

I assure you that I am not attempting to amalgamate funds from my American brethren. My revelatory instructional methods are proven fact! I have not yet given any mendacious or perfidious information about my seminars publicly on this forum. Those that know me (and there are many) can attest that my inculcatory tutelage is accurate and authoritative!

As for making light of Brian Gray, he is your kungfu brother, too, and other than his recent escapades with the authorities, he is the pre-emminent doyen in the iron palm related arts! That is a FACT!

Please do not dismiss my precepts as mountebank, simply because you have more posts than I.

As always, in both acceptance and suspicion, I remain,

Respectfully yours,

dimmakseminar

[Jook Lum]

The last thing i heard that the great Brian Gray was teaching was how to separate little kids from their pants and video tape it.
If you dont believe it there is a article and a post on here about it, find it and read it.

[Joseph_alb]

Went a bit hard on the Absinthe did we now. I bet parts of ur brain are glowing a light green as we post.

[dimmakseminar]

Dear Mr. Joseph_alb:

True Absinthe is not legal in the United States because of certain hallucinatory chemicals contained therein. However, that may not be the case in the Dominican Republic, so I encourage you to drink to good health! Or, as Mr. Jook Lum pointed out that which Brian Gray might say, "Bottoms Up!"

Good Day, sir!

Respectfully yours,

dimmakseminar

[Shaolin-Do]

"True Absinthe is not legal in the United States because of certain hallucinatory chemicals contained therein. However, that may not be the case in the Dominican Republic, so I encourage you to drink to good health! "

LOL!
This guy is pretty funny.

[Joseph_alb]

I guess thats a plus for us.

[Joseph_alb]

Nah, just joking around Mr seminar, no hard feelings. Keep doing what u do, you seem to be very good at it.

[Kristoffer]

Atleast he's polite

peace y'all