Page 9 of 10 FirstFirst ... 78910 LastLast
Results 121 to 135 of 137

Thread: Mayan Apocalypse 12/21/12

  1. #121
    Join Date
    Jan 1970
    Location
    Fremont, CA, U.S.A.
    Posts
    48,171

    Full Auto Monk Spade

    That would make a great name for a rock band, yes?

    I didn't make the Monk Spade thing up. It was Max Brooks. I'm just trying to capitalize on it. You know, when you sell something as obscure as Monk Spades, you do whatever you can to sling 'em.

    Here's a reference from Zombie Wiki:
    Monk's Spade

    A Monk spade, also called a Shaolin spade, is a Chinese polearm consisting of a flat spade-like blade on one end and a crescent-shaped blade on the other. In old China, Buddhist monks used to carry around spades for two purposes: one was to bury any corpses they came across on their travels and give them Buddhist rites; the second was to fend off bandits if attacked. Eventually, they were stylized and given a crescent blade on the other end.

    The weapon is most effective against the undead when used as a thrusting weapon (particularly to the face); it is slightly less effective as a slashing weapon, where attacks to the neck can sever the spinal column. Max Brooks controversially calls this the best hand-to-hand weapon in event of zombie outbreak.

    Pros

    Essentially a polearm; very effective for keeping zombies out of reach.
    Has two blades on either end so you can use both of those in combat.

    Cons

    Bulky and sharp, so carrying it around will be hard.
    Rare.
    Weighted and used differently from many other melee weapons. Somewhat steep learning curve.
    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
    Author of Shaolin Trips
    Support our forum by getting your gear at MartialArtSmart

  2. #122
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Midgard
    Posts
    10,852
    Quote Originally Posted by MightyB View Post
    All the sex has made me too weak to fight. That and the endless supply of pork ribs. These virgins really like the sex. Weird thing is that they somehow stay virgins.
    I got a bum deal, and the internet connection here is kind of slow...However I did meet this pretty cool guy....I mean once you get past the horrid smell of rotten flesh and shit, the walls and floors made of living perpetual bleeding people writhing in agony, the flowing streams of blood and puss, and the throne of skulls and bones he was sitting on when I first met him...but you know, once you get past all that superficial stuff, he's a pretty down to earth guy. He's been showing me the ropes and introducing me to all the must knows and so on. He's taking me under his wing, said he has been looking for a new protege for a while and I have potential. Wish me luck!
    For whoso comes amongst many shall one day find that no one man is by so far the mightiest of all.

  3. #123
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Pound Town
    Posts
    7,859
    Quote Originally Posted by wenshu View Post
    A 125 lb Asian with minimal terminal hair follicles and underdeveloped sweat glands? Drake's probably done worse on a good day.
    im trong. i work out wit bowflex.
    Quote Originally Posted by GeneChing View Post
    If the apocalypse happens before this fight takes place, it'll be the biggest let down for for this forum ever.

    Oh, and we can't officially endorse any sort of challenge matches here, so take that outside to somewhere else on the internet.
    do not be scares my brother. it is merely a mental and spiritual battle. im christian. christians are most peaceful peaceful people in the entier world.

    Honorary African American
    grandmaster instructor of Wombat Combat The Lost Art of Anal Destruction™®LLC .
    Senior Business Director at TEAM ASSHAMMER consulting services ™®LLC

  4. #124
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    Augusta, GA
    Posts
    5,096
    Gene, with the amount of revenue we can bring in, you should have "KUNG FU TAI CHI" banners everywhere, along with numerous martialartsmart.com catalogs for spectators.
    The weakest of all weak things is a virtue that has not been tested in the fire.
    ~ Mark Twain

    Everyone has a plan until they’ve been hit.
    ~ Joe Lewis

    A warrior may choose pacifism; others are condemned to it.
    ~ Author unknown

    "You don't feel lonely.Because you have a lively monkey"

    "Ninja can HURT the Spartan, but the Spartan can KILL the Ninja"

  5. #125
    I'm still alive what's going on here.

  6. #126
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Midgard
    Posts
    10,852
    Quote Originally Posted by Raipizo View Post
    I'm still alive what's going on here.
    No you arent.
    For whoso comes amongst many shall one day find that no one man is by so far the mightiest of all.

  7. #127
    Quote Originally Posted by Lucas View Post
    No you arent.
    Oh..yeah..*soul ascends to heaven*

  8. #128
    UUUgh, the next scenarios are already coming out.


    We get no break! da dum duuumb!

  9. #129
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    Augusta, GA
    Posts
    5,096
    As of 1700 Mountain time, I have lost the spiritual battle with Bawang. He appeared in my dreams and drove a diamond crucifix into my heart while performing a monkey beak strike on my soul.

    I have lost.
    The weakest of all weak things is a virtue that has not been tested in the fire.
    ~ Mark Twain

    Everyone has a plan until they’ve been hit.
    ~ Joe Lewis

    A warrior may choose pacifism; others are condemned to it.
    ~ Author unknown

    "You don't feel lonely.Because you have a lively monkey"

    "Ninja can HURT the Spartan, but the Spartan can KILL the Ninja"

  10. #130
    Quote Originally Posted by Drake View Post
    As of 1700 Mountain time, I have lost the spiritual battle with Bawang. He appeared in my dreams and drove a diamond crucifix into my heart while performing a monkey beak strike on my soul.

    I have lost.
    You mean he didn't finish with the yellow dragon?

  11. #131
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Pound Town
    Posts
    7,859
    Quote Originally Posted by Syn7 View Post
    You mean he didn't finish with the yellow dragon?
    he had mistaken the dragon beak for the monkey beak. the technique was "yellow dragon splits cave". if he trained under a real sifu, he would have known the correct term.

    Honorary African American
    grandmaster instructor of Wombat Combat The Lost Art of Anal Destruction™®LLC .
    Senior Business Director at TEAM ASSHAMMER consulting services ™®LLC

  12. #132
    Quote Originally Posted by bawang View Post
    he had mistaken the dragon beak for the monkey beak. the technique was "yellow dragon splits cave". if he trained under a real sifu, he would have known the correct term.
    That's what I thought. I mean, what's a "finish him" without yellow dragon techniques.... I mean, come on!!! Winning a fight means you get to take/mount your trophy....!!!

  13. #133
    Join Date
    Jan 1970
    Location
    Fremont, CA, U.S.A.
    Posts
    48,171

    We cannot endorse monkey beatk strikes to the soul

    Quote Originally Posted by Drake View Post
    Gene, with the amount of revenue we can bring in, you should have "KUNG FU TAI CHI" banners everywhere, along with numerous martialartsmart.com catalogs for spectators.
    Another missed opportunity. And I thought missing out on monk spade sales was bad.

    Quote Originally Posted by Drake View Post
    As of 1700 Mountain time, I have lost the spiritual battle with Bawang. He appeared in my dreams and drove a diamond crucifix into my heart while performing a monkey beak strike on my soul.

    I have lost.
    Honorable of you to concede. Didn't expect that. Good on you!

    Gene Ching
    Publisher www.KungFuMagazine.com
    Author of Shaolin Trips
    Support our forum by getting your gear at MartialArtSmart

  14. #134
    Yeah the new ones and the "revisions" are getting ridiculous already. It's like they all had excuses ready for when the inevitable failure of their earlier predictions have them steppin all over their own dicks.

  15. #135
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Steam Pan
    Posts
    422


    Ok lets get jobs.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •