Well here I am I just took my last exam and I am leaving this place forever as far as I know...isn't this exactly what you always dreamed of I tell myself?

Now I am not so sure...I was always training for a tournament or something, tournaments that gave me a great deal of joy and excitement in my life, without which I would not stand before you and call myself a man today...but also tournaments that prevented me from drinking and meeting a lot of people around my school...yes there will be other women but never again so many in such a concentrated area, from so many different parts of the country and in fact, the entire world...

Also here I would like to mention that I did something very stupid and took a class with all freshman during my last semester...how moronic was that...I look around the room and see there eyes full of dreams of the future...I see myself sitting there 3 years ago, dreaming of fighting in kuoshu...well I have done that now but now that I have done it it doesn't seem like as big of a deal...yes it is a big deal, but was it worth trading my collegiate social life? I don't pretend to have any answers here...

Another thing I did that I regret now is I went home a lot, but I wanted to work out at home rather than out in the open where a lot of people would see me here...my parents only live 40 min from my school, but I wish I would have just got some b@lls and practiced here and stayed on campus more...

I don't know, should I have never started martial arts in the first place? I love martial arts...traveling to fight in front of many people, being able to go into the gym after a long day to beat the pi$$ out of some poor unsuspectign b@st@rd j/k...

My point is guys, those of us that devote several hours a day to martial arts are different...yes it gives us something to talk about with friends but not all people are impressed by the martial arts...most of my friends are people I met from martial arts...that's cool, but there weren't many girls at either of the places that I trained at...but at the new place I teach at there are lots of girls...

I'm not saying that I think drugs or excessive alcohol is a good thing, I am just saying that I wish that I had experienced at least some of that...yes I am going to graduate with a decent GPA but was it worth it? I don't know, I just don't know...

Here let me end by saying this is not really my last semester of college but next semester I am studying abroad and will graduate in december 2004...so I know that this will be fun...I guess I'm just a little depressed right now...