the Kentucky Fried Thread

[GeneChing]

Will the the Kentucky Fried Thread trend ttt for the Year of the Rooster?

Colonel Sanders becomes harbinger of death in darkly comical Japanese New Year’s card
Casey Baseel 15 hours ago

It’s terror-inducin’ good!

In Japan, it’s customary to send New Year’s cards to friends and family, often decorated with pictures of whatever animal in the Chinese Zodiac represents the upcoming year. Most of the time, the animals are shown in some sort of serene pose or cute scene, but 2017 also allows creative types to dabble in some dark humor.

2017 is the Year of the Rooster, but the Japanese language doesn’t usually differentiate between male and female animals. As such, in Japan, it could also be called the Year of the Chicken, which opened up the door to some appetite-stimulating dark humor, as shared by Japanese Twitter user @yoshidaushio.

View image on Twitter
Follow
吉田潮 @yoshidaushio
姉の年賀状がシュールで秀逸だったのだが、姉には友達がいなくて、この年賀状を目にしたのはこの世でたった ふたりしかいないという。その才能を銭に変えてほしい。



9:59 PM - 9 Jan 2017
105,617 105,617 Retweets 134,997 134,997 likes
“The New Year’s card my big sister made is awesomely surreal,” tweeted @yoshidaushio, “but she doesn’t have any [other] friends [to send cards too], so she and I were going to be the only ones in the world to see this.”

Aside from casting Colonel Sanders as a terrifying harbinger of death, there’s even a little bit of wordplay in the message written on the card. Read “Akema****e omedetou gozaimasu,” the phrase translates most naturally as “Happy New Year,” but the literal meaning of akema****e is “open,” and just like in English, the verb can be applied to the start of a period of time (such as the new year) or the removal of a physical barrier (such as a door separating dozens of delicious chickens from the founder of KFC).

Online reactions included:

“Run, chickens! RUN!”
“Sanders’ stately manner makes it all the more spine-tingling.”
“I bet Ronald McDonald is coming in 2021 [the Year of the Ox/Cow].”
“Your sister is awesome.”
“I want to be friends with both of you.”

@yoshidaushio, who works as a writer and illustrator, wrapped up her tweet by saying that she wishes her sister could earn a living through her artistic talents as well. Time will tell whether or not she can pull that feat off, but with this illustration, she’s at least started building a fanbase.

Source, featured image: Twitter/@yoshidaushio

[GeneChing]

...the fried chicken.

KFC just published a ridiculously raunchy and bizarre romance novella starring a Casanova Colonel Sanders — here are the steamiest parts (YUM)
Kate Taylor,
Published 6:58 am, Thursday, May 4, 2017

KFC has put the hot back into chicken with a free romance novella written just for moms. Keri Lumm (@thekerilumm) has more.

KFC just published its first romance novella — starring none other than Colonel Sanders.

To celebrate Mother's Day — the chicken chain's best-selling day of the year — KFC published "Tender Wings of Desire," a novella following the love affair between Lady Madeline Parker and Colonel Harland Sanders. The book can be downloaded for free on Amazon, and KFC is giving away 100 hardback copies to fans on Facebook.
"The only thing better than being swept away by the deliciousness of our Extra Crispy Chicken is being swept away by Harland Sanders himself," George Felix, KFC US's director of advertising, said in a statement. "So this Mother’s Day, the bucket of chicken I get for my wife will come with a side of steamy romance novella. Dinner is taken care of and she’ll have the time to escape her busy schedule."
Of course, no one reads romance novels for the plot. Instead, it's all about skipping to the "good parts," if you know what we're saying.
KFC stops short of any X-rated material, but here are the sections of the novella worth returning to.

WE MEET THE COLONEL



The Colonel makes his first appearance almost halfway through the novella. At this point, Lady Madeline Parker has run away from her family, refusing to marry a rich duke, and begun working at a tavern frequented by sailors. One familiar-sounding sailor catches her eye:
"He was tall, dressed like a sailor with a striped linen shirt and woolen peacoat crusted with sea salt. His hair was light and fair, framing his head in airy curls, and the eyes that stared back at her were almost the exact color of the sea, perhaps darker, but not by much, and they hid behind glasses with dark frames.
Madeline had never seen a sailor wear glasses before; somehow it made him seem all the more handsome. He leaned on the bar, his eyes looking into hers and liking what they saw... For a moment she felt hot and cold at the same time."

THE FIRST KISS



Wikimedia CommonsMadeline and Harland Sanders are immediately taken with each other. Despite Madeline's friend's warnings of the dangers of unreliable men, the two go for a walk. One thing leads to another, and:
"It was electric. It was everything, and whatever sickness Madeline believed she had from her infatuation with him melted away at the touch of his lips. Her entire body felt as thought it were on fire, her heart beating wildly in her chest. He felt so warm, and his arms circled around her wait to pull her closer.
This was the closest she had ever been to a man, and she would not want it any other way. She felt as if she were a woman on fire, feverish in the best way possible, and something seemed to take her over when he deepened the kiss."

LOVE-MAKING ENTERS THE EQUATION


KFC

Immediately after the kiss:
"She was breathless as they parted, and as she looked up at him, she saw an entirely new and strange aspect of her future unfold. Unfettered by the life that was expected of her, she was technically unfettered from he expectations of her place in society. No longer did she have to maintain her modesty; on the contrary, she was free to be with whomever she desired, regardless of whether they were going to end up being her husband.
...Now, as she stood panting and looking upon this man, she realized that if she were so inclined, she could make him her love."


In this Friday, Jan. 31, 2014, file photo, a KFC sign hangs in Saugus, Mass. Photo: Elise Amendola, Associated Press


THE AFFAIR ESCALATES
"To call their affair passionate was an understatement.
Sometimes it seemed as though the two of them had been made to love each other, and they tried to do so at every given opportunity. Their eyes would meet the instant he walked into the tavern, as if they could feel each other. In that instant, a spark would light and quickly grow into a raging inferno deep within them.
They were so consumed that it took every ounce of their restraint not to give into the first right then and there. The flames would continue to rage throughout the night until the fire was too much, and at last they could let it engulf them."

THE REVEAL


KFC

Finally, Madeline realizes Harland isn't quite who she thought he was. He's no sailor... he's Colonel Sanders.
"'Yes, I'm a Colonel. Yes, I'm fabulously rich. I am a magnate of the restaurant industry, my dear, the king of an empire that I built with my bare hands. I took a sabbatical from my duties in order to see the world, see what else could possibly be out there, and on the course of my journey I found what I was looking for.'
Her heart fluttered wildly in the space of his pauses. In spite of everything, she found herself hanging on his every word.
'I found you, Madeline.'"

Imagine a version of this written by bawang.

[GeneChing]

Once again, Asia's KFCs kick our homegrown US KFC's ass.

KFC just opened a new 'healthy' location in Hangzhou, serving salads, fresh juice and beer
BY ALEX LINDER IN NEWS ON JUL 7, 2017 3:20 PM



KFC has opened a new kind of outlet in China, dedicated to providing its customers with healthy and fresh food, rather than the typical "eight-legged chicken" fare.



The fast food branch launched its first K Pro restaurant in Hangzhou on July 1st. According to Yicai Global, diners will have menu choices like paninis and salads topped with grilled chicken breast, South American white shrimp and smoked salmon. To drink, the restaurant offers fresh juice and beer.



Meanwhile, the interior design of the shop has been changed to reflect the food on offer, creating more of a relaxed cafe vibe, while staff are dressed in green rather than KFC's customary red-and-white.




For the past few years, KFC has been using China as a testing ground to explore new ideas, such as robots that will scan your face and tell you want to eat.
[Images via Yicai Global]

[GeneChing]

wth? No, srsly, WTH?!?!

[MarathonTmatt]

Col. Sanders is the devil.

[GeneChing]

It's gotta be bawang. He's got us all bawanged up when it comes to KFC.

Dramatic moment KFC customers perform a citizen's arrest - on the driver of a car loaded with weapons including a gun, knife and nunchucks
A man has crashed his car loaded with weapons outside a KFC in Ipswich, QLD
The 42-year-old was allegedly in possession of guns, knives and a nunchuck
Onlookers stepped in and took his car keys away, to prevent the man offending
By Josh Hanrahan For Daily Mail Australia
PUBLISHED: 19:29 EDT, 3 September 2017 | UPDATED: 04:07 EDT, 4 September 2017

A brave bystander has stopped a man who drove a car loaded with weapons through a construction site at a KFC restaurant in Queensland.

The 42-year-old crashed his vehicle into a temporary fence near the store in Ipswich, east of Brisbane, before onlookers allegedly noticed a number of weapons inside.

Worried about the danger the guns, knives and nunchucks allegedly possessed by the man posed, Steve Kenefick stepped in and took the man's car keys from him.


A brave bystander has stopped a man (pictured) who drove a car loaded with weapons through a construction site at a KFC restaurant in Queensland

After taking the keys from the man, he urged him to wait for police inside the KFC.

'Mate, you are not getting the keys,' Mr Kenefick told the man.

'I said: "Come in. Go for a feed in here".'



The 42-year-old crashed his vehicle - which allegedly had guns, knives and nunchucks inside - into a temporary fence near the store in Ipswich, east of Brisbane. He faces court in September

When police arrived soon after they arrested the 42-year-old and charged him with possessing a Category M weapon

He was also charged with possessing a knife in a public place and driving with a suspended licence.

The man is due to front Ipswich Court on 29th September.

Bad Day for Wannabe Bruce Lees @ KFC

[GeneChing]

srsly? wth?!?

KFC cooks up fried chicken bath salts in Japan
Oona McGee10 hours ago



Now you can soak in the Colonel’s 11 secret herbs and spices.

KFC Japan has been doing everything it can to get our attention over the years, offering us special items like disposable finger sheaths, Pokémon goods, and even packed bento lunches. Now they’re turning heads with a new novelty product that’s got everyone talking in Japan, and this time it’s something you can soak your body in.

Behold the KFC bath bomb, a product designed to make bath-time smell like fried chicken. Its official title, “Chicken Smell? Bathing Powder” is an apt description of the surprise your nostrils will experience when you get into the bath after using the product for the first time.

Cleverly moulded to resemble a KFC chicken drumstick, the new bath powder has been created in collaboration with Village Vanguard, a Japanese novelty retail store chain that knows its stuff when it comes to food-like bath salts. Last year, they released a whacky lineup of bath powders featuring enticing aromas like pizza, beer and miso soup.

▼ Now Village Vanguard has combined forces with the fast food giant to create a bath bomb that looks and smells like a chicken drumstick.

View image on Twitter



ケンタッキーフライドチキン ✔@KFC_jp
🎊激レアグッズ完成🎉
11月１日（水）から始まる #秘伝のコンビパック 発売記念キャンペーンの🎁が完成しました😃
なんと、今回は #ヴィレッジヴァンガード さんとコラボレーション❤
チキン型のこれ🍗いったいなーんだ❓#分かった人はRT　#KFC
7:00 PM - Oct 29, 2017
26 26 Replies 718 718 Retweets 745 745 likes
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Unfortunately, the only way to get your hands on one of these little delights is by being one of 100 people chosen by lottery to receive one each day, as part of a campaign that runs from 1-15 November. To try your luck in the lottery, simply follow the official KFC Japan account, and then retweet the tweet below with the hashtags #KFCのアノ香りand #秘伝のコンビパック(which translates to #thatsmellofkfc and #secretcombinationpack).

ケンタッキーフライドチキン ✔@KFC_jp
✨#秘伝のコンビパック 発売記念🍗
フォロー&リツイートで毎日100名様に当たる✨#KFCのアノ香り が漂う「チキンの香り?の入浴剤」を🎁
参加者全員に、本物のアノ香りを楽しめる特別クーポンも！11/15〆https://goo.gl/h64AUt



7:00 PM - Oct 31, 2017
78 78 Replies 16,748 16,748 Retweets 2,816 2,816 likes
Twitter Ads info and privacy

Those lucky enough to win one of these will receive the product in a red-and-white KFC-branded box, which makes it feel like you’re really receiving a piece of fried chicken. Everyone who enters the campaign will receive a coupon to buy a Secret Combination Pack of chicken for 550 yen (US$4.83) instead of the usual price of 750 yen.

Source, images: KFC Japan

[GeneChing]

Korean fried chicken chain chooses Concord for U.S. debut


(Lisa P. White/Bay Area News Group) Korean fried chicken and burgers fast-food chain opened its first U.S. location in downtown Concord in January 2018.

By LISA P. WHITE | lwhite@bayareanewsgroup.com | Bay Area News Group
PUBLISHED: January 11, 2018 at 10:03 am | UPDATED: January 11, 2018 at 6:42 pm

CONCORD — Mom’s Touch, a South Korean fried chicken and burger chain, has opened its first U.S. outlet in downtown Concord.

The restaurant took over the former Wild Ox Burger space on Salvio Street next to the public garage and a half-block from Todos Santos Plaza. Mom’s Touch stands out with a red and white striped awning and dining patio.

Mom’s Touch operates more than 1,000 restaurants in South Korea, according to Pedro Garcia, economic development specialist with the city.

“We’re talking about the McDonald’s of Korea basically coming to Concord to open their first U.S. location,” he said.

The menu includes chicken breast sandwiches (both grilled and fried), a bulgogi burger (thin marinated slices of grilled beef); fried wings, drumsticks, chicken strips and popcorn chicken. Barbecue, teriyaki and other dipping sauces are available. Fries, cheese fries and onion rings are also available.

Lighter fare includes a chicken salad and teriyaki steamed rice with bulgogi or grilled chicken.

Sounds good. Too bad I don't eat chicken anymore.

[GeneChing]

Maybe the LGBTQ thing has gone too far on this T. I'll be more impressed with the first black Colonel Sanders. Yeah, let's see KFC step into that bear trap.

KFC Just Announced Its First Female Colonel Sanders
By FLORA CARR Updated: January 26, 2018 8:42 AM ET

KFC has launched a new campaign featuring its first ever female Colonel Sanders, with country star Reba McEntire in the iconic role of the franchise’s founder.

The new commercials will begin next week, featuring McEntire dressed in Colonel Sanders’ famed white suit and donning a moustache. While a number of celebrities, including Rob Lowe, have taken on the role of Sanders, McEntire is the first female celebrity and the first musician to play the part.

“I thought the transformation was really funny,” McEntire told the Associated Press. “I got a big kick out of it.”

KFC
✔
@kfc
Introducing Colonel Sanders. Again.

5:12 PM - Jan 25, 2018
191 191 Replies 431 431 Retweets 2,322 2,322 likes
Twitter Ads info and privacy

“I’m Colonel Sanders, the same as always,” McEntire croons, tongue-in-cheek, in the ad. “I’m definitely not a woman.”

McEntire, who grew up in Oklahoma, said she was first approached by KFC in December.

“I said, ‘Holy smokes!,'” she said. “KFC has been a part of my life forever.”

Commenting on the casting, KFC’s new chief marketing officer Andrea Zahumensky said: “I think this is going to be our most-loved Colonel yet.”

McEntire, who also appears as herself in the commercial, will star in the ads until the end of April.

KFC
✔
@kfc
Nothing to see here, folks. Nope, nothin’ at all. Just the same old Colonel with a new flavor of fried chicken.

5:05 PM - Jan 25, 2018
100 100 Replies 363 363 Retweets 1,081 1,081 likes

You have to click the twitter links to see the ads...if you really want to see 'em.

[GeneChing]

This is surely a sign of the collapse of America and the coming apocalypse.

KFC branches in UK forced to close because of chicken shortage
KFC has apologized to its customers in the U.K. after branches of the fast-food chain were forced to close because they've run out of chicken.
KFC said the shortage had been caused after it had taken on a new delivery partner, DHL, and apologized for the closures.
Holly Ellyatt | @HollyEllyatt
Published 9:11 AM ET Mon, 19 Feb 2018 Updated 22 Hours Ago
CNBC.com

KFC has apologized to its customers in the U.K. after branches of the fried chicken chain were forced to close because they've run out of chicken.

Taking to Twitter to explain the crisis, KFC said the shortage had been caused after it had taken on a new delivery partner, DHL, and apologized for the closures.

View image on Twitter

KFC UK & Ireland
✔
@KFC_UKI
The Colonel is working on it.

4:27 AM - Feb 17, 2018
1,684
1,313 people are talking about this
Twitter Ads info and privacy

"We've brought a new delivery partner onboard, but they've had a couple of teething problems — getting fresh chicken out to 900 restaurants across the country is pretty complex!," the chain said in an online statement Monday.

"We won't compromise on quality, so no deliveries has meant some of our restaurants are closed, and others are operating a limited menu, or shortened hours."


A sign warns that a limited menu is being operated at a branch of KFC that is operating a limited menu due to problems with the delivery of chicken on February 20, 2018 in Bristol, England.
Getty Images

A sign warns that a limited menu is being operated at a branch of KFC that is operating a limited menu due to problems with the delivery of chicken on February 20, 2018 in Bristol, England.
The chain listed the restaurants that were open Monday.

View image on Twitter

KFC UK & Ireland
✔
@KFC_UKI
The Colonel has an update…🐓🛣🚦

More info - http://www.kfc.co.uk/crossed-the-road …


5:12 AM - Feb 19, 2018
502
467 people are talking about this
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Delivery firm DHL, which took on the contract last November with QSL after promising to "re-write the rule book and set a new benchmark for delivering fresh products to KFC in a sustainable way," also apologized.

A DHL spokesperson told CNBC on Monday that the delay was due to "operational issues."

"Due to operational issues a number of deliveries in recent days have been incomplete or delayed. We are working with KFC and our partners to rectify the situation as a priority and apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused."


Getty Images
People pass a branch of KFC that is closed due to problems with the delivery of chicken on February 20, 2018 in Bristol, England.

[GeneChing]

'I ate a lot of Kentucky Fried Chicken and Twinkies': Woman celebrates 105th birthday
HTV National Desk Published 11:55 am PDT, Thursday, May 2, 2019



An Oklahoma woman is getting the birthday celebration she deserves.

Lois Wooten, of Del City, turns 105 on Sunday. She received a proclamation Wednesday at the Oklahoma State Capitol.

Wooten still lives by herself, sends homemade birthday cards and loves to text on her iPhone. She roared through the roaring '20s, learned to drive on a model T and has lived in Del City since 1950.

Wooten was honored by the state House of Representatives days ahead of her 105th birthday.

"I ate a lot of Kentucky Fried Chicken and Twinkies," Wooten said.

Wooten drove until she was 98.

"I don't like to cook much. I eat a lot of frozen dinners. But who cares?" Wooten said.

For someone who spent the vast majority of her life without a computer, Wooten now loves technology, including her iPhone.

Wooten spent 20 years as the cafeteria manager at Kerr Junior High. Her late husband was a firefighter at Tinker Air Force Base.

THREADS
Give it up to the elderly!!!!!
the Kentucky Fried Thread

[GeneChing]

KFC first fast-food restaurant to introduce veggie burger in China
Inside is a palm-sized deepfried mushroom patty filled with melted cheese. Yay or nay?
by Natalie Ma July 4, 2019 in Food



KFC has just introduced its new mushroom burger on Wednesday, making it the first ever fast food chain store in China to provide a vegetarian choice.

The new burger comes with tomato and lettuce and a mushroom patty instead of meat. It does come with cheese though, so if you’re strictly vegan, this might still not be the burger for you.

Response has been divided online. Some said it is overpriced as a veggie bun while others said the cheese alone is worth the price.

Here is what it looks like in real life, according to a Weibo user who gave it a thumbs-down:



Shanghaiist went to sink our teeth into the burger, and here’s what we found:

The burger itself comes in a decent crusty bun, with a deep-fried mushroom patty that is covered in orange breadcrumbs. The crispy lettuce balances the taste nicely, but the ketchup and mayo sauce prevails. The patty itself doesn’t deliver much taste besides the cheese stuffed in it. The mushroom is kinda rubbery so we were left with more half-eaten mushroom than the bun towards the end. We give it 3 out of 5 burger buns for taste, but be warned: the texture of the unchewable mushroom might lead to a truly messy meal.

THREADS
Vegetarian
the Kentucky Fried Thread

[GeneChing]

So many Kung Fu Tea joints make the news feeds that I don't bother to post them all on our Kung Fu Restaurants & Bars thread, but this one also has fried chicken so I can double post it on our Kentucky Fried Thread and y'all know how much I love these double posts. It's literally two for the price of one.

A Taiwanese Fried Chicken Chain Arrives in Quincy
It’s TKK Fried Chicken’s second American location
by Terrence B. Doyle Aug 23, 2019, 8:30am EDT


Quincy has a new spot for fried chicken (the New York City location is pictured here) Robert Sietsema/Eater

Taiwanese fried chicken chain TKK Fried Chicken celebrates the grand opening of its Quincy location (1 Beale St.) today, August 23, and throughout the weekend. It’s the second United States location for TKK, which operates 66 locations in Taiwan and two locations in Shanghai. Its other U.S. location is in New York City’s Flatiron District.

The brand new Quincy location, which once housed a Papa Gino’s, is a combined TKK Fried Chicken and Kung Fu Tea shop, a bubble tea chain that already has about a dozen Boston-area locations.

TKK Fried Chicken has its roots in the Wanhua District of Taipei, Taiwan, where it opened its first shop in 1974. The Quincy location isn’t the only American expansion in the works, per the TKK website — shops are apparently also planned for Philadelphia, Pennsylvania; Cherry Hill, New Jersey; and Richardson, Texas.

TKK Fried Chicken specializes in — you guessed it — fried chicken, offering diners a choice between tenders, wings, breasts, thighs, drumsticks, and fried chicken sandwiches. Sides include mashed potatoes, coleslaw, curly fries, crunchy cheese curds, and shi****o peppers. Unlike the location in New York, the Quincy location doesn’t have a liquor license.

The chicken comes in three different styles — original, crispy mild, and crispy hot. After a visit to the New York outpost, Eater NY critic Robert Sietsema wrote, “For god’s sake, get the crispy spicy!” He also noted that TKK has a “very good biscuit” and a “really, really good” kwa kwa bao, “an invention that’s become a signature of the chain.” The kwa kwa bao is a ball of sticky rice packed with mushrooms that is sealed in chicken skin and then fried.

TKK joins a whole host of other chicken-focused restaurants opening in the Boston area in the coming months (or recently opened). The folks behind Watertown’s Branch Line just opened Shy Bird, which focusses on rotisserie chicken but also features an excellent fried chicken sandwich on its menu, in Cambridge’s Kendall Square; the Oyster Club at the Heritage owner and longtime Greater Boston chef Chris Parsons is opening a pressure-fried chicken spot called Lily P’s in Cambridge later this year; the Moody’s Delicatessen team is on the verge of opening Pollo Club, which will serve fried chicken and vegan food, in the Waltham space once occupied by their taqueria El Rincon De Moody’s; and a team with members associated with Sportello, Charleys Philly Steaks, and Eventide Fenway will open a Nashville hot fried chicken restaurant called Hot Chix sometime in 2020. (Hot Chix is currently popping up around town with some frequency; keep an eye out for upcoming events at Bow Market’s Create Gallery & Cocktail Lounge and beyond.)

Head to Quincy today and see how TKK’s fried chicken sandwich stacks up to the others in the ongoing fried chicken sandwich wars.

[GeneChing]

wth? no srsly...WTH?!?!

China’s KFC Forsakes All Things Righteous, Creates Durian Chicken Nuggets
Having debuted its new durian chicken nuggets, China's KFC has squarely aligned itself with the forces of chaos. Somewhere, the Colonel weeps.
By ADAN KOHNHORST September 6, 2019

China’s KFC has been doing some soul-searching.

Much like a wayward youth, hurled asunder on the tumultuous waves of fate and uncertain in its concept of self, China’s KFC has been making some questionable life decisions.

A couple months back, they decided American-style fried chicken wasn’t really a core component of the KFC brand, and started selling Chinese street food. Still, it wasn’t too surprising coming from those behind the infamous “chizza“, a pizza with a crust made of chicken (and by “pizza”, we mean melted cheese with kernels of corn in it).

And yet, in terms of sheer scale, KFC’s latest experiment might be its greatest affront to God yet: Durian chicken nuggets.

In the press image, sulphuric, fecal-scented liquids ooze from the shell of an innocent chicken nugget, like contents from the corpse of a man whose colon has been sliced open by an enemy katana and left untended on the battlefield for three or four days in the sweltering wet heat of July.

And we pray.

RADII team member and durian fan Calvin Kung steeled his nerves and his spirit in order to confront this great sin:

“It was your average chicken nugget with a sliver of durian sludge,” he explains. “Classic overpromise, underdeliver. Outside flavoring of nugget is so strong, not even the mighty durian can win this battle for your ‘buds. The durian taste is so faint, you wonder if they just killed a chicken that happened to eat durian. There’s a reason durians don’t grow in Kentucky.”

“My mom and I bonded over freshly cut durian,” he added. “This KFC nugget would appall her.”

There you have it, folks. The durian nugget, foe to all, friend to none.

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