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Thread: Sifus and Romance: Where to Draw the Line?

  1. 04-15-2002, 03:38 PM #1
    HuangKaiVun
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    Sifus and Romance: Where to Draw the Line?

    I have been talking with a good friend about the relationship of male sifus (of which I aspire to become) and their female students.

    In general, I take an ascetic approach to students because of the sifu-student thing. I've vowed to never get romantically involved with a student.

    I also wonder all the time about former students, whether it's "OK" to date them. It's not that I am or intend to right now, but maybe one day I might.

    Dating students is strongly discouraged at the university where I'm a graduate teaching assistant.

    What is your take on this?
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  2. 04-15-2002, 03:44 PM #2
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    yenhoi
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    Thats a though line. I would say to never cross it.
    strike!
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  3. 04-15-2002, 03:44 PM #3
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    David Jamieson
    David Jamieson is offline Itinerant practitioner
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    What is your objective with the student?

    What is your true objective with the student?

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  4. 04-15-2002, 03:46 PM #4
    MonkeySlap Too
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    You should never get involved with a student. You are in a position of authority and power over them as a teacher, and you would be abusing your position.

    I did date a student of a friend of mine, however. As I did not teach at his school, it seemed appropriate. She did end up working out with me, but it was never a student / teacher thing. She was my friend first.

    In addition to your responsibilities to your students not to date them, you can also disrupt the club by doing this.
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  5. 04-15-2002, 03:53 PM #5
    joedoe
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    It is a really bad look when teachers date students, no matter what the learning institiution. It tends to raise discontent amongst other students and will eventually arise in claims of favouritism. Be friends, but do not date.

    I have a similar story to MonkeySlap - I am dating a student of a friend. She was never my student and only works out with me occasionally.
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  6. 04-15-2002, 04:31 PM #6
    nospam
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    Always check birth certificate first

    Then...it's an individual call. Who can deny true lus...er, romance?!? Not I.

    nospam.
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  7. 04-15-2002, 04:35 PM #7
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    I would say it depends on how well you can keep your private life out of the Dojo.

    There are many stories where it worked well, and many where it didn't.
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  8. 04-15-2002, 04:42 PM #8
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    Tae Li
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    Hi boys...

    Tae Li here...

    Well i was supposed to be dating my tutor last semester (he was very young so dont worry...) But we didnt really get "into" the whole thing very far cos he was so paranoid about being cauht at the uni and loosing his job, and before we knew it, everyone knew that he and I had something goin' on...

    So, if your considering doing such a thing please consider all the options and if you do go ahaead with it I say stick to it, dont hurt any feelings in the process.

    My instructor is 39, really good looking and a VERY good instructor. I emphasis very good, and I must admit that I have a very good connection with him, he does treat me 'speacially' cos I am a smart arse and a good fighter AND a female...he even flirts with me sometimes when outside of training but I dont take any notice cos we both know its not serious and stuff...I personally thing a relationship between student and teacher will never work out and will screww up the good relationship anyway, which is sad.

    So think carefully

    Tae Li
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    "I understand now that fear is a normal reaction of the Human Body, so why fight it? Accept being afraid, but dont let it hold you back, keep moving forward and the light will shine at the end of the tunnel"
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  9. 04-15-2002, 04:58 PM #9
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    Akuma
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    Originally posted by Tae Li
    Hi boys...

    Tae Li here...

    Well i was supposed to be dating my tutor last semester (he was very young so dont worry...) But we didnt really get "into" the whole thing very far cos he was so paranoid about being cauht at the uni and loosing his job, and before we knew it, everyone knew that he and I had something goin' on...

    So, if your considering doing such a thing please consider all the options and if you do go ahaead with it I say stick to it, dont hurt any feelings in the process.

    My instructor is 39, really good looking and a VERY good instructor. I emphasis very good, and I must admit that I have a very good connection with him, he does treat me 'speacially' cos I am a smart arse and a good fighter AND a female...he even flirts with me sometimes when outside of training but I dont take any notice cos we both know its not serious and stuff...I personally thing a relationship between student and teacher will never work out and will screww up the good relationship anyway, which is sad.

    So think carefully

    Tae Li
    I found your post amusing for so many reasons LMAO
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  10. 04-15-2002, 04:58 PM #10
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    WOW.....there goes my theory of my students being a buffet line of ass! Time to rethink my whole instructorship!

    In all seriousness, I have personally seen many different occurances where it's been both good and bad. Depends on the people involved and the people around you.

    ~wen~
    The greatest thing about me is that I know that I am the ONLY one that knows the truth about all! Damo lives within me, and me ONLY - for there is nobody that knows the truth more - so stick that in your pipe and smoke it sparky's!!!
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  11. 04-15-2002, 05:01 PM #11
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    African Tiger
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    Hmmm...suddenly thinking about going to Oregon to date, er train!!!

    Kidding! Hey Wushu, how's the website coming?
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  12. 04-15-2002, 05:04 PM #12
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    as long as they don't swallow it's not serious.
    All i wanted was some RICE CAKES! Now? WE MUST BATTLE.
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  13. 04-15-2002, 05:08 PM #13
    dubj
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    True words of ancient wisdom.
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  14. 04-15-2002, 05:09 PM #14
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    African Tiger..
    It's coming along, slowly but surely. We are changing hosts, and that's becoming more of a PIA than anything. Hopefully, it will be back up and running this week! And, I will be coming down to your territory soon! I am going to be going Kwoon hopping soon! Need to find out some info on BAGUA!

    ~Wen~
    The greatest thing about me is that I know that I am the ONLY one that knows the truth about all! Damo lives within me, and me ONLY - for there is nobody that knows the truth more - so stick that in your pipe and smoke it sparky's!!!
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  15. 04-15-2002, 05:11 PM #15
    Stacey Guest
    Where do I draw the line?


    I draw the line at loud graphic sodomy durring the drink break.

    No seriously, its not a good idea, lowers professionalism, credebility etc. If you two are that serious, she, or you can quit.


    I think most professional schools adhere to this as well. I had a karate teacher that did. I know lots of females that quit martial arts altogether because their Sensei's always letched on them.
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