Location: Shaolin Ninjitsu Commune, 5426 Crenshaw Blvd, behind Crenshaw Yoga & Dance
After traveling a long distance and providing my credentials Grandmaster Sensei had his students perform a background analysis. When the results came back I was invited inside the dojo to train.
Grandmaster Sensei himself was not running the class. The gentleman who was suggested "let's warm up with a game of grab ass".
"Grab ass, I'm not familiar with that" I said
"Just sit and watch the first round" He replied, "it's simple enough, you'll catch on".
So I sat in the corner.
'Grab ass' was just what it sounded like. A bunch of guys dressed up like ninjas (no women were there) were running around, hands cupped, trying to grab both cheeks.
This is very odd I thought to myself. Nevertheless I thought the real Shaolin Ninjitsu must be comming soon. I wanted to learn the deadly art. There are people who need to die.
Time goes on and finally Sensei Hoyle suggusts a new game. He calls this game "grab ass with a reach around".
Sure enough the game is exactly as it sounds. Sensei mentioned that there is a rule, you must have the ass cupped in order to reach around. They invited me to play, and my response was "no thanks, I'm really not into that kind of thing. Perhaps me coming here was a mistake, I'm just going to leave now".
At that moment Grandmaster Sensei Takeshi walked in and shouted:
"You know what goes on here, you cannot leave"!
"Grandmaster Sensei Takeshi Ukeno and Judo Grandmaster Andy would never approve of this kind of behavior in the dojo" I challanged. He knew it was true. He knew I had studied with both of them. He also knew I learned Tai Shing Pek Kwar from Chan Tai San.
"What are you waiting for, get him" Grandmaster Sensei shouted at his students.
Four of them surrounded me. I then executed a butterfly twist which knocked into all of them and rendered them unconscious.
Just then a large student of Grandmaster Sensei approached. This guy looked like Lurch from the Adams family. He came at me, hands cupped, ready to grab my ass. Luckily for me, Grandmaster Andy (Judo fist grandmaster) had taught me the power of sprint running, and I was out of there.
Conclusion: Somehow Grandmaster Sensei has weak controll of his students and class. It has been infiltrated. I have not lost respect for you, but you need to retake your organization before your reputation is ruined permanently.
Rating: ** out of *****